Last Friday Jamie ‘came back’ in an effort to talk and work things out. That has fallen by the wayside as Jekyll gave way to Hyde and he reneged on much of what he said in writings and conversations. Frustrating indeed, makes if very difficult to work through anything when he constantly says “you don’t get it” – I’d get it if you said anything other than that. Eish. The turning point for him was apparently Tuesday when he came up to the Charleston Art Institute for some sort of event they called him about. I didn’t go, but he told me it was not what they explained it to be on the phone and he was disappointed. I wanted to see him that night, but he refused and didn’t care that it upset me. He said he couldn’t do it any more, and me being at wit’s end agreed. I needed to just get out of it for a day or so.

Relationships are a funny thing. They’re built, I think, on communication, and I have to say that for as much as Jamie and I talk(ed), there seemed to be a lapse in communications. They’re never easy, these relationships, and those that are too easy, have something wrong. Jamie was, and is, despite the issues, the best thing I’ve had in my life in recent years, and it hurts me to the core that he can’t or won’t calm down enough and subside the stubbornness. I honestly believe that he and I can work it out, and no that’s not hope talking, it’s what I feel down in my soul and my heart. Maybe a week or two apart will calm the nerves and clear the air so we can talk again – I do not know. He’s held the power in the relationship for the most part, and he holds it here too – but not as much as he did before. There will have to be a serious talk before anything can continue, and we both would need to be honest and frank about what each other want and need out of the relationship. I do know and feel that he can do it – he has up until this point – and I know that I am willing to try if the shortcomings are on my side, I just need to know what I need to do.

So Jamie, if you read this, or if you’re told about it, that’s the unadulterated truth. This needn’t be the end of Jamie and Chris, but we need to talk, and talk seriously without any insults, without any temper tantrums. Complete honesty. I think your posts from last week are the most honest you’ve been. Call me, boo. We can work it out. I know you know it’s true.